Prioritizing What Matters: How to Stop Putting Yourself Last
I was chatting with my husband one morning, and he wasn't sure if he'd have time to exercise because of other things he wanted to get done.
As we talked through his list, it became clear that some of those tasks weren't actually necessary that day. They could easily wait until tomorrow or later in the week. But if he chose to do them, he wouldn't have time to exercise; a habit that is important to him and supports his mental and physical health.
It made me think about how often we do this to ourselves.
Many of us spend our days checking things off our to-do lists, staying busy, and feeling productive. But sometimes we end up focusing on tasks that feel easier, more familiar, or less emotionally demanding while avoiding the things that are actually most important.
For years, I could always find a reason why I didn't have time to exercise. I was busy, I had to work, take care of my kids, deal with the house... There were always other priorities competing for my time.
The reality, though, was that until I made exercise a priority, it wasn't happening consistently, and it definitely wasn't bringing me any closer to my goals.
Urgent, Important, or Neither?
One simple strategy I've found helpful, both personally and in my work with counselling clients, is asking:
Is this urgent, important, or neither?
When I categorize tasks this way, it often becomes much clearer where my time and energy should go.
Urgent tasks require immediate attention.
Important tasks support our long-term goals, values, and well-being.
Neither can often wait, be delegated, or sometimes be removed altogether.
The challenge is that important tasks don't always feel urgent.
Exercise, self-care, spending time with loved ones, attending therapy, working toward a personal goal, or simply taking a break often get pushed aside because there isn't an immediate consequence for postponing them.
But over time, repeatedly delaying what's important can leave us feeling disconnected from the life we actually want to be living.
When Everything Feels Like a Priority
Many people struggle with overwhelm, procrastination, perfectionism, or decision fatigue because it feels like there's simply too much to do.
And honestly, there may be.
Depending on the season of life you're in, your responsibilities might genuinely feel endless. Work, family, caregiving, school, relationships, household tasks, it's overwhelming and can feel (and be) a lot.
But when we figure out what really matters most, we can prioritize and in turn end up having more room for everything else.
Not every task deserves equal attention.
Not everything needs to be done today.
And not everything needs to be done by you.
You Don't Have to Do It All
This is the reminder many of us need to hear:
You do not have to do it all.
It's okay to delegate.
It's okay to ask for help.
It's okay to adjust expectations on some things so you can invest your energy in what matters most.
And perhaps most importantly, it's okay to rest.
Rest Is Productive Too
In a culture that often celebrates busyness, rest can feel uncomfortable or even unproductive.
But breaks are not a reward for finishing everything.
They're a necessity.
Rest helps us recharge, think more clearly, regulate our emotions, and show up more fully in our lives. Taking care of yourself isn't selfish, it's what allows you to keep showing up for the people and responsibilities that matter.
So if you're feeling overwhelmed today, take a moment and look at your list.
Ask yourself:
What is urgent? What is important? And what can wait?
Your time and energy are limited resources. Spend them on what truly matters.
If you're struggling with overwhelm, burnout, or feeling like there's never enough time, counselling can help you identify what's most important to you and create healthier boundaries around your time and energy.